I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
