In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
