In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
