I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
