are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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