Screwed.edu
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
