so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
