I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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