i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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