My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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