I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
