"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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