it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
