His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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