I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
