Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
