Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
