ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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