hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
