is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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