We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
