I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
honey bunches of taint.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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