considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
