is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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