He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
