I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
