i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
