I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
