we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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