your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
