just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
