I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
