I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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