i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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