so that wasnt chicken after all
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
