Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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