just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
