I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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