i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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