I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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