I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
