I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
