this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i think i just lost a toe
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
