my mouth tastes like poor choices
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
