I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize