Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
