he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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