The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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