i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
