Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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