hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
