You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
