this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
