After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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