You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
