His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
