come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
